


Gone

by MovingOn1 (orphan_account)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Aftermath of Torture, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Tragedy, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Romance, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, M/M, Male Slash, Pre-Slash, Psychological Torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26057635
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/MovingOn1
Summary: Harry Kim is presumed dead. It's during that time that Tom realized he had feelings for Harry. They find out that Harry is really held prisoner. Tom would do anything to get Harry back, and bring him home.
Relationships: Harry Kim/Tom Paris
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	1. Chapter 1

_Harry had pushed Tom onto the transporter pad._

_"You have JUST rebuild your life," Harry had told Tom. Paris was staring at him, open mouthed. "Please, tell my parents how much I wanted to get back home," Harry added. Finally Tom could speak._

_"Harry! Please, don't do this!" He went to grab Harry, but it was too late. He was transported onto the bridge just as the Delta Flyer ran into the enemies ship._

_Tom collapsed, calling out Harry's name -as B'Elanna ran to him, holding him for dear life._

* * *

Tom woke, startled, as he felt the nightmare jerk him awake into another mindless day. He stumbled to the bathroom, still hungover. He was glad he had turned down B'Elanna's offer to stay the night with him. He didn't want to take advantage of her. And he wasn't sure how much of that was being lonely-and how much that was real. He blinked, as he showered, and brushed his teeth. Harry's face drifted in his mind, as it always did when he was awake.

_That look in Harry's eyes_

_Why hadn't Tom kissed him during that trip?_

That last one felt like a shock, as if cold water had been sprayed onto him.

Why the hell was he thinking about kissing Harry??He had thought of that before, but pushed it aside. Yet, it kept on resurfacing. Even when he had kissed B'Elanna a few days ago, he pictured Harry-instead. It didn't make sense. Why didn't he feel that way when he had a _chance_ of being with him?!

Angrily Tom turned off the shower, and got dressed. He went to the mess hall where Neelix saw him, and shook his head.

:"You were up, late, at the Holodeck-Mr.Paris," Neelix tisked. "I made you some comfort food. Figured you could use it." For once, his voice sounded sympathetic, not judgy. Tom nodded, as he glanced at the waffles in front of him. Covered in syrup. 

"Thanks," he sighed. Neelix poured him some coffee, and gave him freshly squeezed OJ. Tom was also surprised that Neelix left him alone, rather than chatting to him. It really must be obvious, how he was feeling. He nibbled on bacon, while drinking the juice.

His mind drifted to the letter he had tried to compose for Harry's parents.

_Dear. Mr. and Mrs. Kim._

_I know that the Captain had written, about the tragic loss of your only child. I am so, incredibly sorry. My name is Tom. I was your son's best friend..._

A part of him wanted to say lover, but knew it wasn't the right thing to say at that moment. Not only that, it wasn't true.

He left, leaving the food only half finished. Neelix watched, concern, as Tom walked off-almost in a angry huff. 

Janeway was surprised to see Tom. Surprised, but happy that Tom still took being an officer seriously. But both she and Chakotay noticed the wise cracking young man was gone. This Tom was stiff, and obeyed orders in almost a robotic way. There was little, to no life, in him. They promised to keep an eye on Tom, but still relieved that they hadn't lost the young man, for good.

* * *

As the crew was moving on, or trying to, they were unware of the Hirogens nearby. The Hirogens, and their new prisoner. A young, Starlfeet, Officer that they took in order to keep repairs on the holodeck. The young man that would refuse to give up Voyager's security measures, or how to recreate the holodeck. The Hirogens kept an eye on this one. They knew if they questioned him enough, he'd crack-eventually. Prey always did.

But for now they were content on him repairing the Starfleet Technolgy, and learning how to work the Holodeck better. For now, that had to be enough. Little did they know that their young prisoner was already looking for a way to fight back, and escape-so he could warn his people that the Hunters were back...


	2. Chapter 2

Harry laid in his prison cell, and his mind drifted to Voyager. He _hated_ having to find ways of weaponizing Starfleet technology. Especially something that was supposed to be as innocent as the Hologram Program. But they made it clear that if he didn't do what they said, than they would attack Voyager. And Voyager was still reeling from a recent attack from the Borg. They would not survive a Hirogen attack, also.

Slowly Kim forced himself to work, still glad he made Tom leave. Despite the look of hurt on his best friends face. At least he could live with himself, knowing that he did everything to get Voyager, and the crew, home. One of the Hirgoen grabbed Harry, and slapped his head against the cave wall.

"You are going too slow!" Amork shouted. Harry had become familiar with Amork. He was the most aggressive of the guards, and _loved_ using his powers. Harry groaned at the assault, and glared at the taller man.

"Maybe that's _because_ you keep on _interrupting_ me, to punish me!" Harry shot back. Amork backhanded him, sharply. Harry couldn't resist. He spat in the Hirogen's face. He knew that was something he would regret, but he was done giving a damn about playing nice. Nice got him overworked, and underfed.

Quickly he was tied to a whipping post. Amork sneered at him.

"I have been _waiting_ for this!" He snapped, and took a coiled rope from his belt. Harry closed his eyes, and practiced meditation breathing. He was glad he had some lessons with Tuvok. He was slowly able to disconnect from Amork's whipping, and drift back to more pleasant times.

_Him laughing with Tom_

_Tom patting him on the back._

_Him and Tom at the Holodeck playing Captain Proton_

_Him and Tom building the Delta Flyer_

His throat was dry, and achy, as realizations washed over him. He cared for Tom! The way he _used_ to care for Libby! Why did it take *now* to see it? Pain radiated inside of him, and he knew it wasn't from the whipping.

Finally Amork was finished, and one of the other alien prisoners rescued him.

"My name's Kyp," the young alien told him. Kyp reminded Harry a bit of Icheb, and felt a wave of protection overflowing.

"Nice to meet, you, Kyp," grunted Harry as Kyp helped him down. "I sure as hell wish it was under better circumstances." He was glad for the language transmitor to still be in him, so he could understand Kyp, and speak in Kyp's language. Made things a lot less lonely.

Kyp grabbed some wash clothes, and started to patch him up.

"You should really watch your tone with Amork," Kyp warned. "He's a bit trigger happy to abuse his power."

"I've noticed," Harry sighed. "Look, kid, I appreciate you helping me. But most of the time...I can take care of myself."

Kyp nodded.

"Yeah, I believe it. Is that how you got yourself captured in the first place? by taking care of yourself?"

Harry scowled, but allowed Kyp to patch him up. As he did, he worked harder to bury those thoughts of Tom deep iniside of him. They were no use for Harry,and only caused pain in the moment. It was better that Tom was moving on. Harry _had_ to let go of the past. And what _could_ have been. He only wished it didn't hurt so much.

* * *

Janeway was getting impatient with her Vidian prisoner. She had no idea why this particular Vidian was a stowaway on her ship. The only thing she could get out of this young man was he was being hunted. But Janeway felt confused on who would be hunting hunters. 

Until she remembered the Hirogens. Her face paled, with that realization, and hurried to the brig.

"It's Hirogens, isn't it?" She asked the young Vidian. He stared at her, imploring her to be kind. To show mercy. But she was sometimes tired of mercy.

"You're being hunted by Hirogens," she reconfirmed and he slowly nodded.

"Yes."

Her face turned more ash.

"What do you know?' She whispered. "If you tell us, I will let you go."

"Please, I'd rather stay here," the Vidian begged. "And ask for asylum. I looked it up before hiding. Your species allows another to stay-if they are in danger."

"Fine," she snapped. "I'll stay if you tell me what you know about the Hirogens hunting you."

"Not much," the Videan sighed. "Only they have the same holodeck technology as yours."

Janeway frowned.

"If that is it," she remarked, slowly. "I'm not sure how much help I can be for you-" She felt a little wrong for playing hardball, but at the same time...she was so damned tired of that moral compass. She turned to leave, and the Vidian interrupted her, quickly.

"Wait! I know one thing! They have a Human prisoner! To keep repairing the Holodeck."

And with those words it felt like all the wind had been knocked out from inside of her...


	3. Chapter 3

She continued to stare at the Vidian, her eyes filled with intensity. She stood there, as the prisoner confessed to what they knew about the human prisoner. Her mind numb with the information, she walked to the bridge. 

"Katheryn?" Chakotay asked, keeping his voice soft. Janeway blinked, as if she was trying to snap out of it. But one thought kept on repeating in her mind.

_Harry Kim was alive._

_And they left him behind._

_To rot with the Hirogens._

Her throat ached as she turned to face Chakotay.

"The prisoner just told me something truly shocking." She finally found her voice, and Chakotay waited for her to respond. The whole bridge was waiting. She stared at Tom, with watery eyes. Tom had aged _so much_ since Harry's "death."

"Harry..." Her voice cracked, and she was slowly sinking to her chair, with Chakotay's help ."Apparently Harry is alive."

Silence, then everyone spoke.

"That's impossible!" B'Elanna gasped, who had taken over Harry's position on the bridge-from time to time. "The explosion?" 

"It would be most illogical," Tuvok agreed. But finally Janeway filled them on, as she watched Tom. Tom's face had turned into a shocked look. And remained looking shocked. But he seemed to believe her faster than the others.

"They transported him, seconds before it exploded," she explained. "I would say it was illogical, too, Tuvok," she added. "But they said it was a HUMAN prisoner. Human. In the Delta Quaderant. Who else could it be?"

Tuvok frowned, and sighed.

"Probably no one else," he admitted. She nodded, and swallowed as she faced Tom.

"Tom, would you-"

"Changing our course right now, ma'am," Tom spoke, more professionally than she had anticipated. She walked over, and placed her hand on his shoulder.

"If he's alive," she whispered, "We'll find him."

Her mind drifted back to the funeral.

* * *

The Senior staff stood there on the bridge, numb with pain and shock. B'Elanna had tears rolling on her face, as she leaned against Tom. Tom held a glass of wine, and had just finished giving a eulogy to Harry.

Janeway's own eyes were brimmed with tears.

"Harry was the youngest," she choked out. "B..But he was one of the bravest. I think we can all agree on that." There was a murmured, agreeable, response as she continued. "I always felt somewhat...motherly towards him. He was so YOUNG. And so out of his league with this new mission of ours. It was unfair to ask so much of him. But...he never faltered at a task. And was always eager to please. I remember the Doctor nicknaming him Ensign Eager. That was very true. And he was loyal. He proved that in his death. Loyal to us, and what our purpose was. And loyal to his friends, who he gave his life for. By blowing up that ship he gave enough time for a very damaged Voyager to escape. Enough time, for Tom to come back to us. Harry, we'll _never_ forget your sacrifice."

B'Elanna asked if she could say something, and Janeway nodded.

"Harry, and I...we met when we were taken by the Caretaker. With the Ocampa." She glanced at Neelix, who gave a knowing smile. "He was the first not to really judge me, for being maquis. Tom can confirm that he never judged us for our past." She trembled, as she spoke, and Janeway clasped her hand.

"I...I felt very free to be myself around him. More than the other Starfleet officers, at first. I was only friends with the other Maquis. Like Seska, and Chakotay. Harry was my first real, Starfleet friend. I was able to lose my temper in front of me, and it...it didn't phase him. In fact..." she shook her head, her voice cracking. "We balanced each other out. Almost like siblings. He was freely annoyed at my outburts, as I got annoyed by his timidness. We would tell each other off, and cool down. Then come back and work together. He would be the only one to call me on my bullshit, and not be afraid of me. Other than Chakotay." She and Chakotay exchanged passing smiles as she continued. "He would sometimes flatly tell me I'm having a temper tantrum. I'd call him some name, like greenie, and we'd be fine. I never....never had that ability to connect with anyone, like that. To have that understanding with each other. People were either too afraid of me, or didn't like me. Harry...Harry wasn't afraid, and he cared for me. Why, I don't know. But...I'll never forget him."

Janeway hugged B'Elanna, and went out to hug Tom-but Tom jerked away.

She watched Paris leave after B'Elanna's speech, as she called after him. Chakotay shook his head.

"Leave him be.

* * *

Janeway remembered Chakotay's words as she glanced at Tom who was piloting their ship at the moment.

_leave him be._

She settled into her seat, and glanced at Chakotay.

"Are you all right?" He whispered, and she thought about it-before nodding.

"Once Harry's back with us, I will be," she told him. He accepted that, and she kept her eyes focused on their path. Determined to bring their crewman home. 


	4. Chapter 4

Janeway was more furious than anything else. And shell shocked by the news that Harry Kim might be alive. After talking to the Vidian she was able to locate where the prison might be on a Hirogen ship. Especially the one where she traded the technology with. She remained stoic when she asked Tuvok to hail them.

"Hello, Karr," she stated, coldness in her tone. Karr frowned, as he stared back-equally cold.

"What is it that you want, _Captain_ ," he sneered. Janeway narrowed her eyes, and tried to keep her composure. 

"I want to know if you have a human prisoner," she spat, direct-and to the point. Karr blinked, momentarily caught off guard. Finally he grunted his response.

"Yes, what of it?"

"What of it?" She gasped. "You had us believe there were _no survivors in the explosion_."

"There wasn't," Karr remarked, without tact. "We beamed him out before the explosion. He never would have survived it, otherwise."

"Release him, at *once.*" Janeway's eyes were wild with fury. Karr glared at her.

"You are under _no condition_ to threaten us!" He snapped. "We can take your ship back, as hostage, anytime we want. You better be more thoughtful around your superiors."

With that remark Karr ended the conversation.

Janeway was glowering at the screen, quietly seething.

"Katheryn?" Chakotay kept his voice soft. "What should we do?"

"What we did when Tom and Harry were in the chute," Janeway remarked, and Tom turned around. "Break into the prison."

* * *

They scanned where Karr's prison area was, and with Seven's help they were able to beam themselves onto the ship, without being detected. Janeway was troubled to see how horrific the prison's condition was. What troubled her was the amount of families that were placed in them. 

"Keep a sharp eye on Harry," she told the rescue team-that considered of Chakotay, Tom, B'Elanna, and the Doctor. B'Elanna walked over to Tom, and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Are you all right?" She whispered. Tom's face was pale, as he swallowed before replying. 

"We left him."

She swallowed, and lowered her eyes.

"We thought he was dead."

"We should have looked harder," Tom snapped. "Made more certain..."

"Captain." A static response from Tuvok was trying to come through. "Captain, I believe they are aware of what is going on. They have latched onto Voyager's ship. They know where you are at."

Janeway cursed, and as she turned around several of the prison doors slammed shut, as more Hirogen's entered the area. Including Karr.

"It looks like we have a rescue attempt, in our midst," Karr sneered, as he walked over to Janeway, and her team.

"Stay calm," Janeway breathed. "We'll find a way out-"

But soon they were surrounded, and the weapons were being taken.

"So nice of you to join us, *Captain*," Karr told her, calmly. "I'm aware that you are looking for a certain prisoner?"

"Yes, Harry Kim," she shot back, determined to stick to her purpose. His lips curled into a sneer.

"He's working for _us_ now."

"I don't believe that," Tom started to say, and another hirogen backhanded him.

"Take them to their cells," Karr commented, calmly. "We have Voyager to overtake, again."

"Karr, we had a deal!"

"Yes," he agreed to Janeway. "And that deal w _as_ that you leave us alone."

"You broke it first, by taking one of my crewman! I demand to see him-at once!"

"You wouldn't want that," Karr remarked. Janeway's eyes narrowed.

"I wouldn't?"

Karr sighed, and asked for Amork to bring in their newest recruit. 

The others stiffened, as they waited. And there stood, next to another Hirogen, was Harry Kim. Wearing a Hirogen uniform, and carrying a Hirogen weapon. 

"You wanted to see your officer?" Karr asked, simply. Amork sneered at them as the rest stared in shock. Tom was the first to speak.

"Harry?"

Harry stared at him, his eyes cold.

"He only speaks when I tell him too," Amork grunted. 

Janeway almost fainted at the sight of Harry-in a different uniform. Appearing to have chosen a different side. But something wasn't right. She glanced at Chakotay, who was studying Harry-intensely, also. 

"Harry, we were coming here to take you back home," B'Elanna pleaded, and that was when Harry finally responded.

"I am home."

More confusion filled them as Karr demanded the away team to be taken to a cell. Janeway still shell shocked by the supposed behavior. And Tom wondering why the hell hadn't he confessed his feelings to Harry, before it was too late. Before he knew the real truth of that young man. Because he knew that even though he would be a lie, and he might not have discovered the real version of Harry Kim for years-at least he'd have been able to live in a fantasy land. Even for a little while. Instead he was faced with the fact the person he loved most might never have been who he really was. And only now, were they truly seeing Harry Kim's true colors. 


End file.
